a moment in time

you know what i'm going to stop apoligizing for not posting in a while. i have a life, im trying to get a scholarship, im writing a book (which by the way in coming along VERY slowly), and i have so much friend drama its not even funny.
So ill start with friends. I miss my court, i miss schwa, and emma, and banana, but mostly i miss them all together. We used to laugh every day and i could always count on them, i always knew that if i was having a hrad time they would be there waiting for me. i always knew they could make it seem alright. I learned a lot from them, but a year just isnt enough time for great friends like that, and even though it seems like way longer than a year, in reality it isnt. So i miss them, oh you have no idea. Now if im having a hard time and i come to school in need of a hug or reasurance, i rarely get either. The people i hang out with now have no much more drama and issues in their lives that my problems seem petty in comparison. Still doesnt mean i dont want a hug, just lately i've yet to get a hug and have been only giving them. Thank god this weekend im having a sleepover with the court. We need to catch up so bad! I have a feeling it'll be slightly awkward though because they are all in the same classes and they still all hang out and talk and laugh and now im not in any of the jokes. i have a feeling this friendship is going to fizzle out fast no matter how much we dont want it too. its just too hard having long distance friends. I already have experience with brook in the area. So i guess eventually ill give up trying to keep this friendship alive, ill come to realize its too much work dealing with troubled teens all the time and ill just be known as the geeky girl that doesnt socialize and has no friends. lol. though in the past week at some point i hung out with the not as popular popular kids.... which reminds me i still need to create a new persons chart*. Anyways so i hung out with them and they were actually nice to me, like some of the gave me looks but once we were talking it didnt really matter. and Sierra and Emily are nice to me, though probably only because im dating justin and they're friends but come on they could hate me like everyone else. oh and i think that most of the popular pain in my asses are at mericale this year, albeit not all but most.
Then there comes the subject of people in general. Lately they've just really bugged me, the more i hang around people the less and less i want to. i just keep on finding things wrong with peoples, finding things wrong with their personnalities and then that's all i notice about them, nd i know that's bad but how can i help that i mean really? So even the nicest of people the kindest of hearts, are all getting on my nerves. Sadly the more i get to know people the more and more likely i am of getting anoyed by them, except for that select few that for some reason outside of my understanding, they don't. Like justin, athina, emma, kelsey, leah... like yes they do get on my nerves,yes i do notice their flaws, but they are just so much more muted that most. Less in your face want to slap you typed thing.
As for the rest of my life, not much is going on. Anthony has gotten anoying because of his ever constantly talking shadow Daniel. Wherever athony goes as does daniel and i have to say most anoying person in my life right now has to be the people that never shut up *coughdanielcough* So my teachers are good, projects good, homework good. I do have to work evermuch harder to get straight A's but at the moment i think im succeeding honor role. yays me. Now again i have been working my ass off but as soon as this semester is over the next is an easy pass. I mean English ffshh, Art umm hello can anyone say easy?, gym everyone knows is an easy pass as long as you try hard, and math. now most people are like AHH math im going to flunk but coem on im not everyone am i, besides im gifted in math. So if i get through this, the rest of the year i can breezy by.
Now my book.... uh, well least i can say is its a slow time. but face it its been two months and im just not motified, i used to go through books daily and its taken me more than a week to read the first book of vampire diaries, and face it no way should it take Me that long. So trying harder now to get back into my scholarly ways i do admit that im having difficulties. Though i do beleive that once im into the rythm of it once more it'll go more more smoothly now that i know everything thats going to happen and the way that i want everything to play out. no excuxses anymore.
GothGirlxox

* What i mean about the personality chart is that before i had a theory that everyone could be classed and i know that i hate titles and all but if the titles are true then how is that biassed. So because origanily in my skepticism i thought there was only the popular bitches, the druggies, the freaks, the nice geeks, and the douche geeks and that was it. those were the only options. So now i realize that people , even within those sketchy guidelines were more complicated. so i have to re-do the chart implicating the much more elaborate part of the populars.