scheduals!!

okay okay i know i havent posted in a while but the simple truth is i just dont have time anymore. i really just dont. my usual day consists of getting up at 7, going to school, doing the many activities im signed up for, going home, doing my homework, going to work, and then talking to justin for an hour. and then repeat. So i guess youve pretty much figured out that i dont really hang out with my "friends" anymore. Yes we still talk, yes i do sometimes sit with them at lunch. but no i dont care or go out of my way for them. i usually spend my lunch periods sitting alone on the school steps ( outside our auditorium) and eating/ doing homework. Once in a while someone will come and sit with my but mostly i am completely solo. Anthony and i have become better friends, and even though i still completly 100% am in love with justin i do sortof have a crush on him, horrible i know but im not going to act on the feeling. i like where i am now. justin and i are past the anoying awkwardness of the relationship and are now so relaxed around each other. why would i give that up? besides id miss him way too much. lol i did a shoulder test too. and hate to say it but Anthony is just too short. my head doesnt fit with his shoulder, its not perfect and easy, not anything like justin. we really are perfect for each other.
i havent done much writing as you can probably tell from my schedual. actually i will REALLY tell you my schedual but like jsut after school/ before school activites.

monday- after school jazz
tuesday- after school band
wednesday- diversity club before school
- Art club after school
Thursday-before school jazz
- after school tutoring flute
Friday- before school band
- tutoring at lunch
- tutoring flute after school.

ETC!!! im also signed up for swimming but the practices havent started yet. i am SOO busy. so im going to have to drop some stuff. or move it around because i really need more balance and time. probably going to drop tutoring because that really wasnt that big of a comitment. like ill still help them and stuff but ugh i just dont have that time!!! so if i stop tutoring subjects and if i tutored anthony and moe together... or just plain stop tutoring Moe because seriously hes a lost cause. whats the point in tutoring someone if theyre a lost cause? he doesnt try he doesnt practice he doesnt work or pay attention hes a waste of my time and his. i mean anthony asks for help like twice a week and i hear him practicing all the time and he shows potential and he really works hard for it. so ya he still deserves to havee me tutor him. plus i liek hanging out and doing stuff after school so yea.
OH and did i mention my parents now NEVER trust me!!! i mean i cant even say i got an A on a test without them saying PROVE IT i dont believe you! god they are SUCH asses. oh my god!
anyways i got to go! ugh
gothgirl xox