:S

i just realized how much i missed justin. We've seen each other only on the bus for the past 3 weeks. i havent really hung out with him since dec 17 when we went out for his birthday.and even that was with a group of people. i cant remember the last time we just did something us two. i miss the way he holds me, and our odd conversations. i miss not having to worry about anything else because he was there. I miss knowing he was always there for me. I suppose it wouldnt be so bad as long as we talked. we havent video chatted since he left. he's barely ever online and when he is online its for like 20 minutes. we barely talk any more and it seems like we never have time for each other anymore. This coming friday is our 10 month anniversary and how much do you want to bet we won't end up seeing each other. its a horrible feeling. like a part of me is missing. i don't like feeling like this.

i wonder if justin misses me at all. probably not cause hes not even trying. hes always busy and its just like he doesnt care. you know? i just cant wait until we can see each other again. i miss him so much.
GG

it is probably a good thing though because we are both stressed out and pulled to our limits with exams and summatives. we'd probably only fight anyway. thats why i hope we can see each other on the 29th cause everything will be done so we can just relaxe.

new respect

I came to a new respect with my aunt today. for a while, i honestly thought she was stuck up and cold and cared for few people. today i realized that was not the case and that she in fact delt with the same thing i had to. the only diffrences being, she never knew her father loved her, and shes been dealing with it for a long time. also i dont think shes an old soul so she doesnt have the calm tendensies that i do. Anyway. After 60 years of dealing with that im not sure she really is cold, just steeled from the world so she wont get hurt. i understand that and sympathize with it. actually i dont really need to. i know. So now when i look at her, i see myself, years from now. its a very real possibility. and im happy i now understand fully the situation. i like getting both sides of an argument before forming an opinion.

GODDESS!!!!! grrr.....

okay its fourth period and i think i finally have enough time to make a little post. not one of my famously long ranting ones but enough to catch you up on my current affairs. I'd love to tell youthat everythings amazin and that im super happy and great and writing a million friken pages a day and that my book was coming along nicely... sadly that is sooo beyond not the case.

so basically ill start from the main and go into the deep heady world of the extremly complicated. Well as you know in january every single teenager in high school has to take exams and do summativve projects. What my school didn't plan for was timing. Usually the summatives were a feew weeks before exams so that way we wouldnt be as stressed out. so instead now i have my exams and my summatives on the same day... basically i can say its pretty crazy. I just finished my french summative and did my music exam. My science summative is due thursday and my geography, tomorrow. For french i had to create a movie about a ffrench play. science i have to create a board game (which isnt that bad) and in geo, i have to literally make, and withstand my village. Thrilling isnt it. so anyways here i am extremely stressed out. also on top of that my exams, music today tomorrow, and tuesday. my science exam tuesday, my geo thursday and my french wednesday.

btw my friend pickles says hi. she is sitting beside me reading over my shoulder.... lol she just commented on the fact that she cant be reading oveer my shoulder if shes beside me... sadly she may be right.

back on track: Im stressed im slightly crazy im totally freaking out and fighting with my dad and mom 24/ 7 is sooo not helping anything. worst of all, every single one of my teachers are like you shouldn't get stressed, just take it in steps.... yea well they dont have 3 summatives to do and 4 exams to study for!!! grr.

Actually pardon my faute. the worst thing is. justin is in the same mental state im in... none. so basically summing up my worst problem i havent really had a conversation that wasnt about school with justin since....... december 17 which was the last time i saw him before he left for arizona. shit that sucks. plus... that was the last day i was with him too... and that was wiiith people. i cant even remember when we saw each other alone. gr. so i miss him a lot and well we cant do anything this coming weekend cause im devoting my entire brain power to studying because i dont have much time this week. then finally on the 29th we're going to see each other... sadly that means i have to wait for the 29th ( which is btw our 10 month aniversary yays)

after all this im not much of a person and has absolutely no excess brain matter. When im not studying or working, im thinking about studying and working. and when im not thinking about studying or working im dreaming about it... which is just as bad. plainly saying i havent had any time to write or have a alife for the oast 2 weeks. this is soo beyond insane. im behind in my book by like 5 chapters and i cant even seem to care because im too worried about everything else going on. only 116 more days and still 17 more chapters. good thing being next semester will be a breeze so i dont even have to worry about catching up. i can jsut do 2 or 3 chapters a week for the first little while and be back on in no time. i mean seriously art english gym math what a snap! goddess i just said snap... there must be something wring with me...

until another time
GothGirl

PS im supposed to be writing the descriptions of my village right now... but its in french and im not in the mood. DAMNIT!

Hey srry I haven't posted in a while I promise to catch you up once I have more time. Ps srry this is all a title I'm writing on my iPod GG )0(

Happy New Year

It is 2010 my friends.
New years resolutions:
1. to finish my book
2. to not lie
3. find a third resolution

News, and no news.
there is so much i have to say and yet i don't really have anything to say.
I send my regrets to my friend Erin whos great grandmother just passed away on her birthday.
Also i say hooray for new clothes. AND im getting a new haircut soon. Hopefully justin won't hate it even if it is short.
I am now on chapter 12 and continuesly writing.
Hm... what else. Oh, even though there is only 3 more day of vacation until summatives and exams, i have a lot to do.
Jan 1:
drawing my new haircut to see the fit on me
homework
writing

Jan 2:
Writing
Family dinner ( which justin can't come to, im still mad about that)
programming my new ipod touch

Jan 3:
Getting my new haircut
Homework
Studying
Writing.

By the way, like 3 minutes before new years do you notice that all the anouncers are like "you better have the person you love close by because like you know, its a tradition to kiss them at midnight. :D" Like fuck you, make every friken person on the planet that can't be wil that person or don't have that person feel bad. Like all those girls at home with their husbands in the war. Like they don't want to be with them at midnight, but they can't. Or me and justin cause we're on;y 14, our parents don't really let us stay out till midnight. Like god.... bugs me. Poor single people, not only do they have valentines day stab them in the back but they have the new years anouncers too...

GothGirl xox
PS i should write comedy i mean lately everything i say sounds like stnad up and its funny too.
:D blue berry vitamins, orange art, psyciatrists, new years anouncers, emotional reading. ( you know when you cry or laugh about something you're reading and the people around you are like... what?), and Leah and her phone.... hmm maybe ill have to post them on here along with my theories.

week 7 update.

Finished until chapter 10... fell behind 2 chapters. will be catching up. go to JMKempster.blogspot.com for more details.**

GothGirlxox

** i will probably just stop posting about my book on this site soon. so save the link. this blog will mostly be about my personal life
PS with that note i realized something tragic. Justin and I probably won't last. And as much as i love him and it pains me to say... it might be soon... I do love him, and i know he loves me, and im not going to say that its just me... no its totally his fault. I need someone that is sweet and caring and considerate... and anyone who knows justin can tell you immediatly that just isn't him. I need someone who acts like im a goddess (or relitivly). Im gonna try to give jusitn more of a chance because i know that he can be sweet and adoring... sometimes he can be the nicest guy in the world. the only problem is that lately i havent seen that guy. and i know that the moment im back in his arms im going to forget because thats the effect we have when we're together. The only question now is does justin care more about "The Man" and being an uber tough non caring guy, or me. At some point he's going to need to pick because i refuse to date a jerk. It'll kill me, but there are just some lines that i will not cross.
God I hope... i just want to know. i need a sign....

JMKempster website

www.JMKempster.blogspot.com
is now up and running!! also i have organized my calendar and am halfway done chapter 9.
GothGirl xox
PS dont mention this blog in any comments and there my name is J. not Sybil. so dont use that.

bestest paragraph ever

okay now i know by the grammar of the title everyones a bit skeptical. but my intro to page 9 is very close to the best paragraph ive ever written. In my exctment i thought lets sharee it with the gang! Now i dont think i have to repeat this but just in case. it is copywrited to me so don't even TRY to steal it.

so here it is :

Peace. It's an awkward concept at best. The idea of utopia seems nice, but it's impossible. Where there is good, there is evil. It's the balance of life. Just like light versus dark, life versus death. I'm not sure i believe anyone, anything can really be at peace. Something in perfect harmony is just too much to ask for. Whenever you get close somthing always happens to throw it back in balance. Like whenever you get answers, new questions rise up. When you find a solution a new problem is never far behind. But if you asked me right now, i would probably tell you i was the closest you could get to being at peace.

YES ISNT THAT JUST THE BEST THING YOU HAVE EVER LAID YOUR EYES UPON!!! :D :D of course it is.

GothGirl xox

week 6 update

3 things worth mentioning today. But its not going to be long because this is the 3rd time ive had to redo this post. oh and i just realized that you arent aloud to paste anymore so i couldnt even copy and paste the info! grr. anyways. here is my short copy of what i had just written

Week 6 over, ive finished chapter 7 and most of chapter 8. Because the break is finally here and justin is gone i have no distractions. I'll probably finish chapter 8 tom and some of chapter 9. This are going quickly. I'll probably be ahead of schedual in a few days time. I don't have many plans for vacation so that's good. hanging wth the Court and shopping with lee is pretty much it.

I have to re organize my caledar for 2010 so ill probably get to that sometime in the next two days. And while doign that ill probably make my official website for Styks High. i promis to import all the posts here that involve the book. I'd just make this the official site if it werent for the fact that my blogger name here is sybil and my main characters name is sybil.... it would jsut seem way too confusing.

Then my final thought for the day: Schwa and I are probably writting a b=guidebook/hanbook thing in the new year. it will include, maps, behind the scene stories, pictures, tommy's thoughts. Itll either be names something like Tommy's stories or In the view of the humans (which is mentioned in the book itself. Ill post more about that soon
Until next time
GothGirl xox
Ps avatar is awesome!!

chapter 7 + 8

Going to write 2 chapters hopefully this week. Chapter 7 and 8. which should be together anyway considering the topic of both. One is about the lead up to the aniversary of her mothers death. the other about the actually summoning of her mothers spirit on that set day.
A lot to do now,
Bye