Hitler at parliament, Mass ohio fire kills 243 convicts, Sherlocks holmes is dead, discovery! Vaccine for Yellow fever. What do all these have in common you ask? Well... they are the headlines for the Maycomb Tribune Agust 31, 1935 and September 1, 1935. Yes, for our english paper we have to create a class newspaper, and but who else was voted editor? Yes, i know awesome.Though making it sound that simple isnt really true i have to format everything and get everything together, i have to make sure its all in one piece, that everyone has atleast one hard story and one soft story, and pictures, dates, headlines, and other. Plus i have to wite my own artorcles, all by tuesday of next week.
Though a thrilling chance this is fo me, i'm still sort of stressing seeing how i don't know very much about events inn 1935. A lot of research is involved and i absolutely hate research. You can't even begin to wonder how much. However i do what i must, and today that is research. So far I've learned wuite a lot about hitler's rise to power, and ulimately his demise ( which by the way i am kinda peaved at the amwericans for bruning his diary... i would have liked to read it, actually! it would have made a perfect blog, can you imagine the private thoughts of a mass muderer and total lunatic? It could be called "the univetibal days before hitlers demise." :D :D ) alos about how the author of sherlock holmes was actually kind of awesome. And that people really hates blacks back then in the south... i dont se why, i love all people.
Anyways back to work,
Jen
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
last post
Sadly theres is a huge glitch with gothgirl, so i made a new blog www.moonlit-enlightenment.blogspot.com its called from the corners of my mind. I will no longer be called gothgirl there. but i have imported all my old blogs and will now be updating there. Thank you.
For the last time,
GothGirl xox
For the last time,
GothGirl xox
untiled, and undone (untitled)
when life hands you lemons, you make orange juice, sit back and watch as the rest of the world tries to figure out how the hell you did it.
My motto of the week. Yes bad things have happened theis week, but that's life. And so i take it in strides because everything happens for a reason. Weither we understand the effect of that emidiatly or later on doesnt matter. All you know is that the experience has given you something. For example i can give myself one silver lining with justin. I now understand why we cannot try to change for someone else; If we arent ourselves from get go, then once things settling and you begin to act normal around that person they think that its weird and odd, and thats what happened with justin. I morphed, and morphed back and things changed, now i know that the person's skin on which i tried on wasnt a fit for me, now I'm back as myself and though a tad glum, happy that i get to act normal again.
Through life I will encounter many set backs but i cannot let them effect me or I'll loose everything. I won't win if i let events control me. I need to be my own person so that i can get through everything and that is another thing i learned. Yes im sad, but i wont let that effect me, im not going to let it get me down. I only have one life to live and im not going to waste it being depressed. So besides the biggest recent event, i have more to tell.
Last night was my big concert. I was head of crew, and advisory. Basically my job was to set up the stage, make sure everything was in order, organize the people, and get everything moved around when needed.... and boy was my job difficult. By the end of the concert we had 117 chairs and 67 stands. We had three bands, LDHSS grade 8 and 9, plus the ottawa wind orchistra. It was by the way, an enormousopportunity to play with proffessionals. Thank you to all those who came. Anyways, during the break, i had to add like 50 chairs on stage and it turned out that i had to change the entire seating plan because apparently our stage wasnt set up with enough space for the morph, and would have taken way too long to move all the precussion. Therefore i had to take it in strides and move with the flow. It ended up that we had flutes and clarinets behind the precussion nearly offstage, but it worked out. Our concert was a hit, with 45 minutes from the orchestra, Barnum and baileys, and nathan hale trilogy by us, some songs by the grade eights, then donkey riding with the orchestra and us, andfinally the finale with all three bands, around the world in eighty measures. Another plus of the night was that i had a bunch of my friends come and cheer me on while i set up... though i was ditched by my crew halfway through set up and i had to move nearly all the chairs alone, it turned out great. I took awesome pictures of the orchestra from the catwalks above stage (which were the coolest thing ive ever done... i felt like such a ninja, cause i was walking above people without the noticing me, wearing all black and taking stalker-ish photographs. I also got very high reviews on both my playing and the pictures by the members of the orchestra.
I have much more to add to the events of that night... but i was getting out of order and must now head back in time to before setting up actually started... lets say at 3 30 once school was out. First i had to head to vocal practice for the musical, it was pretty normal and there isnt much to say. Following this, i headed to the art room to hang out with pickles and sarah who were, also, staying before the concert. We sewed leaves for Audrey II (for the school musical of little shop of horror) and hung out with Mme, Cheung. who is my homeroom teacher, and surprisingly i learnt a lot. Usually i detest Mme.Cheung, she is an insane perfectionist and horrible art teacher because if everything is not done in the style she does, it isnt right, which is way not the case in art because there is not right or wring as long as there is emotion. But after school she seemed like an entire diffrent person. For one she was speaking english, dancing around and singing along to disnreey songs. Basically we all had a party while working. After we finished the three leaves we ate dinner and that cleaned up, while mme was gone... Still having an hour left we added boogers to the cleaning troll in our classroom, and talked with mme. I was so shocked, she was exacly like Natalie from the Community Channel on youtube.... i mean asian and everything. But the exact same sense of humor. We laughed for hours. or hour.
One of the topics of discussion was how teachers lie very often. and how they say things to make the student feel better even though it is completly wrong like "You'll enjoy highschool" "classes are fun" "I dont believe in lots of homework" etc etc AND "They're only mean to you because they like you." No i am sorry but if a guy is mean to you, its cause he's mean. or comptly socially awkward. Which then lead to how Mr Gumaste is very socially awkward ( but mme didnt say that ;P wink wink) and how adults are actually just larger versions of teenagers... which actually makes a lot of sense. So now ever adult i see i try to see which social stutus they would have been included in at school. Some i still cant see, but others are so obvious i couldnt believe i didnt see it before. Mrs Adams, was a jock. Mr Mo is a pickles, mr godfrey was a loner music geek (much like ryan) Mrs Jenson was a popular nice girl, as was mme herfst, Mrs wilkinson was a math and science geek, Mr czudner was a total nerd, that was still likable, Mrs Craske is a mean popular girl, etc etc
Besides discovering the social stats between adults and their pasts, i started writing a lot. And was actually asked by my english teacher to do a book report for her so she can decide weither it will be a good literature book or not. Its very diffrent so far. Ill have to tell you all how it is. ( i was chosen for this not only by my literary talent, but also because she read my review about the sixth sense and actually thought that it was engenious, and i aught to be a critic.)
Goddess Bless,
GothGirl
PS I've been getting the "they like you" thing soooo much lately. It seems taht almost every lunch break we have i have another guy being all like "i like you" or having soemone else say "its cause they like you" or " I can just see it in their eyes." Like FRIG i am not over justin yet. Its been three days can you calm your harmones for 5 minutes please. Just because im suddenly single does not mean im ready to date anyone anytime soon. 'sides i doubt half the guys they say do like me. Hell if i believed them that would mean....
(1. Sammy, 2. Jacob, 3. ariel, 4.antony, 5. sarmaad 6. jordan) 6! guys liked me, and that is rediculous.
My motto of the week. Yes bad things have happened theis week, but that's life. And so i take it in strides because everything happens for a reason. Weither we understand the effect of that emidiatly or later on doesnt matter. All you know is that the experience has given you something. For example i can give myself one silver lining with justin. I now understand why we cannot try to change for someone else; If we arent ourselves from get go, then once things settling and you begin to act normal around that person they think that its weird and odd, and thats what happened with justin. I morphed, and morphed back and things changed, now i know that the person's skin on which i tried on wasnt a fit for me, now I'm back as myself and though a tad glum, happy that i get to act normal again.
Through life I will encounter many set backs but i cannot let them effect me or I'll loose everything. I won't win if i let events control me. I need to be my own person so that i can get through everything and that is another thing i learned. Yes im sad, but i wont let that effect me, im not going to let it get me down. I only have one life to live and im not going to waste it being depressed. So besides the biggest recent event, i have more to tell.
Last night was my big concert. I was head of crew, and advisory. Basically my job was to set up the stage, make sure everything was in order, organize the people, and get everything moved around when needed.... and boy was my job difficult. By the end of the concert we had 117 chairs and 67 stands. We had three bands, LDHSS grade 8 and 9, plus the ottawa wind orchistra. It was by the way, an enormousopportunity to play with proffessionals. Thank you to all those who came. Anyways, during the break, i had to add like 50 chairs on stage and it turned out that i had to change the entire seating plan because apparently our stage wasnt set up with enough space for the morph, and would have taken way too long to move all the precussion. Therefore i had to take it in strides and move with the flow. It ended up that we had flutes and clarinets behind the precussion nearly offstage, but it worked out. Our concert was a hit, with 45 minutes from the orchestra, Barnum and baileys, and nathan hale trilogy by us, some songs by the grade eights, then donkey riding with the orchestra and us, andfinally the finale with all three bands, around the world in eighty measures. Another plus of the night was that i had a bunch of my friends come and cheer me on while i set up... though i was ditched by my crew halfway through set up and i had to move nearly all the chairs alone, it turned out great. I took awesome pictures of the orchestra from the catwalks above stage (which were the coolest thing ive ever done... i felt like such a ninja, cause i was walking above people without the noticing me, wearing all black and taking stalker-ish photographs. I also got very high reviews on both my playing and the pictures by the members of the orchestra.
I have much more to add to the events of that night... but i was getting out of order and must now head back in time to before setting up actually started... lets say at 3 30 once school was out. First i had to head to vocal practice for the musical, it was pretty normal and there isnt much to say. Following this, i headed to the art room to hang out with pickles and sarah who were, also, staying before the concert. We sewed leaves for Audrey II (for the school musical of little shop of horror) and hung out with Mme, Cheung. who is my homeroom teacher, and surprisingly i learnt a lot. Usually i detest Mme.Cheung, she is an insane perfectionist and horrible art teacher because if everything is not done in the style she does, it isnt right, which is way not the case in art because there is not right or wring as long as there is emotion. But after school she seemed like an entire diffrent person. For one she was speaking english, dancing around and singing along to disnreey songs. Basically we all had a party while working. After we finished the three leaves we ate dinner and that cleaned up, while mme was gone... Still having an hour left we added boogers to the cleaning troll in our classroom, and talked with mme. I was so shocked, she was exacly like Natalie from the Community Channel on youtube.... i mean asian and everything. But the exact same sense of humor. We laughed for hours. or hour.
One of the topics of discussion was how teachers lie very often. and how they say things to make the student feel better even though it is completly wrong like "You'll enjoy highschool" "classes are fun" "I dont believe in lots of homework" etc etc AND "They're only mean to you because they like you." No i am sorry but if a guy is mean to you, its cause he's mean. or comptly socially awkward. Which then lead to how Mr Gumaste is very socially awkward ( but mme didnt say that ;P wink wink) and how adults are actually just larger versions of teenagers... which actually makes a lot of sense. So now ever adult i see i try to see which social stutus they would have been included in at school. Some i still cant see, but others are so obvious i couldnt believe i didnt see it before. Mrs Adams, was a jock. Mr Mo is a pickles, mr godfrey was a loner music geek (much like ryan) Mrs Jenson was a popular nice girl, as was mme herfst, Mrs wilkinson was a math and science geek, Mr czudner was a total nerd, that was still likable, Mrs Craske is a mean popular girl, etc etc
Besides discovering the social stats between adults and their pasts, i started writing a lot. And was actually asked by my english teacher to do a book report for her so she can decide weither it will be a good literature book or not. Its very diffrent so far. Ill have to tell you all how it is. ( i was chosen for this not only by my literary talent, but also because she read my review about the sixth sense and actually thought that it was engenious, and i aught to be a critic.)
Goddess Bless,
GothGirl
PS I've been getting the "they like you" thing soooo much lately. It seems taht almost every lunch break we have i have another guy being all like "i like you" or having soemone else say "its cause they like you" or " I can just see it in their eyes." Like FRIG i am not over justin yet. Its been three days can you calm your harmones for 5 minutes please. Just because im suddenly single does not mean im ready to date anyone anytime soon. 'sides i doubt half the guys they say do like me. Hell if i believed them that would mean....
(1. Sammy, 2. Jacob, 3. ariel, 4.antony, 5. sarmaad 6. jordan) 6! guys liked me, and that is rediculous.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
officially over.
Justin and i broke up last night. Put simple i feel horrible. I'm sad, I'm sick, I have gym, I miss athina emma and kels, and im worried... together makes a not so great day.
I miss him.
I miss him.
Friday, March 5, 2010
rants
What do you do when you're caught between the place you want to be and the place you really are? How do you get there? What do you change? What needs to be given up? I'm at a huge cross road in my life, and im not really sure what to do. I have a feeling that soon my life is going to change a lot, probably because of one of my decitions. There are a few crossroads that make this particular dicition up actually. Three large issues in my life.... some i can deal with, some take work, and some are up to fate. Well, seeing how there are only three options i should be saying, one can be dealt with, one takes work and one is up to fate... however this doesn't hold the same ring.
Three delema's several options.... I'm going to try to work them out here, by a particularly long rant that may or may not solve any of my problems. I have a feeling that this will atleast somewhat help my case... First lets get my possition out there first, I'm sick, cold again, I'm tired, and hungry, and personally not have a good day. Also, I'm extremly worried, and stressed due to these problems. So tonight is the night that things change... I'm sitting on my big queen sized bed, under my windowsill starring up into the moonlight. From here i hope to draw up strength from Artemis, Wisdom from Athena, and Individuality from Nyx.
Dilema #1: Deal with it
Justin.... well to be frank he's been my problem for a while now, and I think i knew that. However the solution to this problem isn't necessarily as easy to find.
Lately let's just say that not all has been well. To be honest with you all it hasn't been going well since DEcember 18.... i can recall the last day because it was the day before he went to Arizona with his family.... When he left he was sweet and caring, promised he'd call me all the chances he got. emails, whatever and the two weeks would fly by like nothing... however it sometimes feels like he never really came back at all. The justin i knew and loved, deffinatly never did. Ask anyone, he's not the same. Not really.
So after returning without any wort of communication he didn't even tell me he was home. I actually found out he was back from Leah... who he hates. Ask me why again Leah knew he was back before i did, because all i can say is i really don't know. Now from this point it only got worse. He started being very mean and angry towards me all the time. We rarely had conversations anymore and when we did they always ended in fighting. I chocked it up to exam stress and then we'd be back to normal once they were over with. This didn't happen. After exams we fought more and more, then he just staarted ignoring me. Currently we talk maybe once a week. I miss him so much. I'm always trying to talk to him, and see him, he doesnt even try and even when we do see eachother, he's distant, or just plain out ignoring me. I still love him. So much. But i wish i knew what happened to the old justin.
The way I see it, I have a few options.
Option 1: File a missing persons report to Justins soul
Option 2: Try to talk to him and figure out what going on
Option 3: weigh it out and hope it gets better
or Ultimatly option 4: Tell him it's over.
I really REALLY do not want to take option 4, but for the past few weeks, I've been considering it.
Dilema #2: In need of major work
As for those who know me, you can all probably guess this is my about my book... This has been a huge part of my life lately, rarely having time for much else, and really trying to finish.... though i should probably not fling around lately... lets try past 6 months. LATELY i haven't actually been doing much work. I told myself I'd take a break for summatives and exams and be way back on track by this point... but that was a lot easier said than done. I'm finding it a hard time getting back to work... and now i think I'm ten chapters behind, minimum. I sometimes write parts on my ipod in class, only because there's nothing better to do, but after school I just don't want to. I'm always sitting around doing nothing and feeling quite unproductive... and yet i cannot seem to stop. It's extremly difficult to start back up something as tedious as writing when you could be reading or watching degrassi ( which i have to admit i am totally addicted to now). I love writing. But it isnt easy. I have the entire story, every scene planned in my head. For me, my books been done since octobre. Now I've moved on to planning the second and third, and another whole series... and then i think about all the work that will take and i completly lose hope. Or i snap back into the present and see how idiotic it is to start planning for the future when i cannot even finish the present. I'm having a tough time, and i want to get everything Styks over, at least for the year.
I know i have to finish this, i owe it to myself to be done. To be able to say, I've at 15 writen a book. now i can relaxe. but even at that, then theres revision, and then publishing. I'm probably not going to be done with styks for a long while, and that trully at the moment is making me a bit depressed. I don't want to spend every waking hour writing, what for me, is already finished. This has been my threee year project, and i just want it to be over. How do i get back on track. I can either give up every waking hour for at least the next week... thats the only option i can see... theres only 10 weeks left.
though it could take my mind away from my....
Dilema #3: Up to the fates
This truly should be a two part dilema, but lets just jam it into one for good measure.
This has to do with school... specifically my education, and my future. A lot could change here, and i don't really see if i can do anything about it. I've applied to merivale, the high school i insanely want to go to. I don't want to be caught in this flytrap called LDHSS any longer. I'm tired of beinglonely all the time. There is no one here that can match my intellectually state of mind, and frankly put im bored all the time. So i want to get out. so badly you have no idea. I've sent in my letter of transfer and i am praying to dear Goddess' that i get in. I am being retested for gifted... which i am nervous about because i haven't actually taken a writen gifted test and i have no clue what to expect... at all. What if i screw it up... i cant even study for this... again its up to fates.
Actually just because I'm insanely proud of my authory skillageI will share with you my letter that i might add i wrote and edited in one and a half hours time:
Sorry its a little hard to read but i was not re typing that entire thing out. stupid blogger for not having copy paste.
essientiatlly its awesome.
but now thers not much i can do except wait and hope. I can convince him more than this and if i dont get in im going to be insanely umbarable for the rest of the year. It won't be apocalyptic, but it will be one of the four horsemen. That is for sure.
Now for the second part.... still based on education and future... only a tad more far off than my next year school. I'm thinking long term what shall i be for the rest of my life. For a while i was thinking of dropping my childhood dream to write. But now i see that writing is just as difficult as anyother job, if not more because you CAN avoid it. and then theres the entire factor that not many writers actually make it out there. I also want to take psychology but that takes a lot of ears at university to even get close to good, and though i'm guarenteed to love it ( because i already study hibits of the human nature and absolutly love the fascination that is the human mind) i dont think i'd be able to make a career out of it. There still is the option to follow my path in the scientific field. this doesn't sound as alluring as it did when i was younger. But still an option. For now I've decided to take enough math science english and literature course so that i can decide later which i want to take, but this decition WILL have to be solved by the time high schools done, and you know me, i hate to procrastinate. It NEVER ends well.
For now I'm off.
This has been splendid, i;ve been in need of a good rant lately.
GG
PS i was completly appaulled at our closing ceremonies at the olympics. Encouraging the stereotypical canadian halts all progress to blocking out that all canadians are stupid uneducated crackpot treehuggers that ride mooses, have pet beavers, life in igloos, have walrus' in our driveways, and are still in the 18th century. not to mention the absurd love of hockey. I'm sorry but our lives do not revolve around pancakes, and maple syrup. If we promote this version of ourselves than how are we to expect others to treat us with any respect.
PPS stephen Harper i do not believe your scam. I'm sorry but taking 2 and a half months paid leave from the governement for no good reason except you wanted to go watch the olympics and take a vacation is rediculous. not only you though, the entire parlement offices. Basically everything about anything governemental has been at halt for the past 2 months... and the thing is, it hasnt even made a friken diffrent in the way our lives have been. that just goes to prove how useless it really is. We are paying, with our tax dollars, all their salaries to do nothing all day. That was clearly proved in the past few weeks, and then his speech about how they were considering changing our national anthem because its sexist. thats a load of bull and i hope all true canadians know and realise this. what he's doing is waving a red flag. looky here looky here, so we dont all fire his ass for being useless. I'm sorry but they need to get their act together, and quick, or soon they'll have a riot on their hands, and theyll loose.
PPPS i could sooooo win the waterloo rant contest. I would be guarenteed that scholarship. Im so good and talking about nothing, complaining and ranting that i could be Scout Finch in the flesh.... thats probably why i dont like her character shes so naggy... like me :P
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