AHH

Okay so this week is going to be scary, i'm going to have sooo much homework i have no idea how i will pssibly ever have time to write. So basically i have a science Quiz tomorrow AND friday. a slideshow due thursday, music things due all week. weither an essay on the renaissance or practice or a playing test. its insane. Then of course i have french homework and thanks to Aneil Geography that i didnt think id have to do. I'm deff going to tell Mme. that he barely did anything. Im sorry but i will not cover for my partner, even if i DID like them.
So basically my dad told me this weekend that im not "aloud" to have guy friends. so instead of taking my usual calm tactic i went with sly and cunning ) so i said " you want me to be original right? and do well in school? and be myself? and not have sex? and not do drugs? and not smoke? is that right? so how exactly am i supposed to be myself if i cant hang out with the friends i have?? or the fact that if im not aloud to be myself and have to pretend to be and airheaded sheep to fit in with the girls i cant do well in school. or if i was trying to be someone else i might aswell just go hang out with the druggies, while im 'pretending'. Oh and even if i do find girls that like me for me, which the chances are slim, they'll be so much drama that i STILL wont be able to do well in school. If thats what you want that by all means ban me from hanging with guys. Go ahead i dare you."
ya so he ah didnt ban me :) brains 1, haut couture 0 :D :D
Not back to my hectic week.
GothGirl xox

haha in class

Okay one of the bad things about being a good student is that often enough you aren caught in the current position im in now. That position being that you have finished your work and for the past four days you have had nothing to do so you find yourself on pointless sites constantly checking your mail etc etc. So i thought, even though ive blogged a few times this week I'd do another update. This time not only about my book but also about my personal and somewhat constant life.
So first book. I am now completly done writing that section of her textbook and almost finished chapter 6. yea thats about it. i suppose soon enough ill post the chapter outlines but seeing how barely anyone reads this there is no emmdiate rush. though Erin im sure cant wait to find out :P
What else? umm not much ive been writing more poems so those too will be updated.
As for my life... hmmm well basically my ever constant life id:
get up
fight with parents
go to school
french
science
then hang out at lunch with William ( this years schwa.. though he's so clumsy its impossible for him to be invisibble due to the fact he leaves a trail of distruction behind him!)
music
Geography
then i wither do something after school or i go home
i do my homework
talk to william
watch tv / write (lately mostly write)
talk with justin and or fight at him
dinner
fight with justin
cry a bit
practice my singing ( for my audition peice for the musical)
bed.

thrilling isnt it?
Now if you actually seem to care about this blog and actually read it then you must be wondering why are justin and i fighting so much. Well there are several factors and they always arent straight out fights and are usually about the same things. The facts are that we are just over the new relashionship faze and i cant keep overlooking justins ass-ness and he jsut doesnt get that i dont need more problems after everything else in my life. So we fight. and he wants me to be a "norm" but fact is i just cant be that and he knew that when we started dating god. So basically im getting a haircut soon and it will be short, i like my hair short, and i will have a little tuff of lime green. Justin of course is 100% opposed to this. he likes girls with ling hair and he likes normal, but he likes his hair long when i like guys with shorter hair. so all in all we end up dissagreeing. now of course i still love him and there is no chance that we are going to break up soon, i cant even picture myself with anyone else anymore. but we do need to talk. and not just agree one day and fight the next. no we really just have to understand each other and not be all immature when we talk so i think itll have to be one conversation we have together in person. something like that is just so not call material.

ugh i still have 15 minutes before class is over......

Oh i went to the school talent show yesturday and it was actually totally worth 5 $. the teachers did a choreagraphed dance that was well put together and it ended up being really fun. Plus i didnt HAVE to pay :D Kiranen was there, i thought it would have been really awkward but it so wasnt. HE has changed so much though!! i mean he grew up he's a lot less immature thank god ! and his voice dropped insanly and he grew ou his hair. deffinatly diffrent.... still would never date the guy again :P if i EVER break up with justin im only dating guys from my own school i mean jeeze i am so not good with long distance ( well teenage long distance.)
lol im typing really slowly so i dont finish fast :P you know its bad when.

5 more minutes!!!! urgh
oh amanda and i jsut discovered the best thing EVER!!!! emo, goth,. punk, scene and about every awesome colour OF GOOGLE!!! yes i am just that serious. it is epic :P

anyways im jsut gonna go now. bye
GothGirl xox

done!!!

HAHA not even mid week and i am done writing my outlines! done i mean from chapter one to the end of the book... which just so happens to be exactly 30 chapters. I finished the last 7 in class today. like for a while i was stuck and i literally stared at the book for hours trying to figure it out and the moment i stopped. BOOM i realized it instatly one chapter after another until i finished. So now that i have completed that I;m going to start on chapter six. though im taking a break today. after i finish m science/ french homework im going to relaxe and watch tv. simple easy and no brain use nessesary. Then tommorrow i will probably bring my laptop to school. after school i can spend some time and jsut sit down and write and of course i have my lunch period. So i will do that.... what else. oh read my friend jaymes' blog she writes great stuff. umm i do believe that is it.... oh pickles and i got ina huge fight so i am not one friend less than i had this morning. And astrology class isnt as bad as i thought it'd be. :D then again mrs wilkinson can make anything seem interesting. now off to do a grammar page.
Toodles
A bon soir!

ok guys even better news ! Usually i come with complaints worries and freak outs, well no more! i am not only ahead but i am majorly ahead! and im just so into the story now that i find reality off! ive been writing in between classes once im done work, any possible moment and i am already at outline of chapter 27!! yes 27. so not only am i ahead but i will probably be able to start actually writing very soon in which case i might be able to finish even sooner than planned. I am almost at the climax of the book, good news there. now back to my very sad and lame reality.
GothGirlxox

Ps if i ever become a total bitch because i get famous or something do slap me! i mean i doubt i will but people always say fame wont change me and in a few months..... So i dont want to be a wanna-be brand whore. or sheep :P be original and toodles.

YES-NESS

For all of my followers i bring great news!! not only have i caught up 100% I've writen till outline chapter 17 which is TUESDAYS work!! hahahaha maybe ill be able to start week writing sooner than expected :P erin would love that.* So anyways even more great news for nanowrimo me: i have also finished all my homework, and went to leahs birthday dinner ( which was awesoemly hilarious even if i did hang out with her brother more than i did her :P) while bringing the most awesomesauce card ever! it was a plain-ish cover and then it opened up and there was like BOOM colour, and poems that i wrote for her. and then you flip it open and there is a portrait of her that i drew that took like 5 hours this morning :P its based off an old picture but its still like exactly like her. So all in all i won the card contest BY FAR! woot.
GothGirl xox


*erin's like my publisher reviewer person :P

Week 3

Okay week 3 gone and done and you wont believe it. Until this morning, i was still at three outlines. yes three. Then after once again reading through my posts i forced my self to read the last 50 pages and update till 5 outlins. yes 5. so week 3 and i was only at 5 paragraphs. how pathetic. Thing is after i finished that. i caught up. the only reason it was taking long was because of the reading part. once i was done with that continuing the story wasnt hard. So i wrote 10 more outlines back to back boom-boom booom! it was perfect. so yes for those who cant do math i am at 15 outlines in total. which means if i write 6 more tomorrow i will be completly back on track. easy peasy. though now i do have to make a bday card for leah, write a page for french. and go to leahs birthday dinner tomorrow because i accidentally blew the entire day writing!! I'm actually really proud of myself usualy days when im writing i get sidetracked. either by tv or another book that im reading so ill take like hour breaks in between but today once i got past the reading part it was great i literally sat writing all day and i didnt even notice the time passing except for when i got hungry at waround 3 :P but besides that. yays.
anyways back to my own personal world. see you all next week.
GothGirl xox

week 2

Today is the first day of week 2i am still where i wrote yesturday. So now the idea is writing 5 today. though with the amount of homework i have im not sure ill be able to. i have a mining project about copper cliffs. and french test to study for and a geo test to study for and i have to fill out my products sheet. altogether not a lot but ill tell you. it sure does take a long time.
hopefully i can atleast get it to 16. i need to re evaluate my chart. i wasnt thinking realisticly.
until saturday,
gothgirlxox

update week 1

Okay on paper it looked a lot easyer then actually doing it. Week one is almost up already being saturday afternoon and all and imonly done till chapter 3. not thirteen. so either i wrrite the other 2 i have done and create 8 more. im not going to be finished. now i do know that im probably not going to hae 31 chapters. so im going to just try to keep up best i can. writing as much as possible doing as many of these outlines i have time for. I didnt realize how tired i was after my homework till i started writing after i finished my homework. omg i just keep thinking i wanna go to sleep i wanna go to sleep. now of course once im done catching up i can start writing outlines whenever. So like in the morning on the bus, or at lunch or even during class if i have time. it'll work out its just this first week of getting used to it tat im having a hard time with. once im in the mood and the rythm im sure this'll go alot faster. Lets cross our fingers!! X.
Even though i have a lot of homework this weekend im sure ill still have time to atleast finish and write... one or two. which means i will still be behind but i'll probably be able to catch up if i continue like this.
gothgirlxox

Rainbow youth forum '09

I'm bad, i know i really am. I'm supposed to be studying for my science test insanely so i can catch up on my writing putlines that i missed yesturday. But i just have to say this forst before i forget all the amazing details.
Today was the ottawa rainbow youth forum. For those that don't know what that is heres a simple way to look at it. Its a gay straight alliance. a bunch of kids no matter what gender orientation or w,e get together and go to a bunch a queer oriented workshop. Now before you get all offended, queer isnt actually a bad word if used in the right way. Queer is the given title for anyone who is anything besides heterosexual, that consists of around 20 sub-groups( bi, gay, lesbian, trans, etc) So today i went, and even if i couldnt stay for the entire time, what i did participate in was amazing and i so will attend next year. Here is my experience of the event:

We get to school, take the 71 bus all the way to the sportsplexe, ( or well the school next to the sportsplexe) then we enter the building and find out that there are SO many people there... little did we know that that was less than half of the total attending population. We were only 11 because we only had one grade. WE were given name tags and we got to choose several things out of a wide variety on pencils, pens, stickers, pins, etc etc. I got a rainbow bracelet and sticker, and a windmill pin. Then we enter the caf area. there i realized that nearly everyone there was goth. i mean EVERYONE except for our school for some reason. i mean it was like o wave of weird coloured hair and awesome clothes and shoes, but the best part is everyone was so nice and open. altogether a bunch of great people. There were people walking around with "free hugs" posters and talking and dancing. it was amazing. After a few speakers and speaches we watched a movie clip about the pride perade. the movement of gay rights in form of awesome... i say that's pretty cool. though several people were harmed, or even killed, and others arested its still amazing. and all over the world people are still fighting this. we say we're accepting but yet so much of this sis still going on and it has got to stop! but for now people are doing all they can.
As for the workshops.... hmm well the first one i attended was "peeling off labels and breaking down stereotypes" rm 119. after i found the room i took a seat one of the first there i sat near the front. As people started coming in i felt like the plague. no one sat near me... i mean NO ONE. until all the other seats were full of course. so i was kinda feeling down that no one sat near me. i mean i was alone somewhere i hadnt been before i didnt know what to expect and im generally nice so i was kinda shocked. But once the class started well i kind of forgot. we talked about so many things and how they affect people and of course stereotypes. not just about queers either but people in general. some exmples are:

• orientals are smart
• trans are drag queens ( no thanks to rocky roadshow i might add)
• les' are butch
• gays are flamboyant,
• middle easterners are terrorists
• irish are drankards
• etc etc

Following that we we given a label on our foreheads and we had to have a conversation with the person and it was really awkward because we kept staring at it and asking weird questions and then you had to guess the label you have. It was disturbing and i get how queers might find that odd because they are just people too, i donbt get others act weird around them, i dont see a diffrence myself. my mom on the other hand has some serious homophobic problems. After that workshop 2. i was there first so i got a bouncy ball woot woot! the title of this class was "queer 101" in room 123. no problem finding it, it was practically 3 steps away. So then expecting the same result as last time i sit down and people avoid me until the last possible seats are there. the exact opposite happened. Second person there sit RIGHT next to me. i mean one seat over. i was so happy and then it followed like that. the rest that came all sat first near me then around but i mean helped me feel more open and comfortable than before. This class i actually participated more. i spoke up and talked. Anyways we discussed a bit about queer history and the terms and what they mean and what the symbols were, then we discussed hilarious myths that people actually believe. Now i;ve got to tell you most instrucors would have made this class sooo lame i mean it wasnt very thrilling info. but omg!!! the person who taught it was amazing!! i mean Spazs was this 30 year old man with long spiked hair and black skull clothing and arm tatoos and percings all over his facce and this sick jeans with rainbow overalls. Basically totally awesome and he was hilarious! i mean he made everything funny. he was gay. though not flamboyantly so. Then there was........ dude. he had these big 80's glasses and thats all i can really say, but he too was funny. and bi. So there you have it two of the best funniest nisest people i ever met and they are queer. So anyways i laughed a lot as did the rest of the class and mackenzie ( the girl who sat with me) ended up sharing a chair with me during the symbols challenge. So it all worked out. plus i got a bouncy ball !! :P btw the amount of bad puns told in this class!!! i swear best hour of my week by a long shot. you know what best hour in a long time. However this is where the fun ends. After that i had my last workshop "spirituality" in room 107. where is one-o-seven? ahh thats the question. it takes me friken 20 minutes tto find it, then once i do i find out its not only a really lame ass class, but my group is lame as is the two christians teaching it. now i point out christians because of the fact that the entire class was about gays in religion. it had nothing to do with spirit... NOTHING! so i sat and listened to his 50 minute speach about his gay marrage in the christian church.... really lame. i dont care. Gasp you were denied, no shit you got married the month after it was legalized. just because its legal doesnt mean that people will accept it right away. So then it was time to catch our bus and head home. and even though we left early the day continued. Following that was a speach from the dude from degrassi. i would have LOVED to see that, but sadly i couldnt and then a movir about the pride parades

So tomorrow and the rest of your lives i want you to accept people for who they are. no matter.

GothGirl xox

reading

For a few days ive caught myself several times waiting for justin to sign on. This was weird in my mind becausde i couldnt find anything to do unless he was online to talk to... So i started thinking what exactly did i do before justin and i started going out. because i didnt have my laptop i hadnt spent much time on the computer. so i finally figured it out. I used to read. THATS why i read 600 pages a day. thats why i started writing. because i spent so much free time doing it. and i used to fall in love with the stories. that again is a reason i started writing. i always used to love how the stories would unfold with the pages. I could spend hours reading these amazing stories like they were my own life. I loved that feeling like i could do anything. And i appreciated every word the authors wrote, every word tied together in sentences that create this story. It was amazing and i always wanted to do that. I wanted to be the one to make that. i wanted to create those stories with my OWN words. to have my name on my own story. i loved the story. I found that again. and im reading again! and writing and im finidn myself again and even though that means i talk to justin less and i miss him more when we DO get to see each other its just us two the rest of the world just drops away and its an amazing feeling. lol that sounds like something in a book :) my writing self just coming alive. i love that feeling too. my thoughts writen coming together and then poof actual flow and story :)
GothGirl xox

New goals

Dear readers,
I'm proud to say that i now am back on track. For a few months now, i haven't been able to write, i've been stuck and uninsperated, and most of all un willing. But no more. With the few simple words of one of our olympic athletes i have reset my goals to finish my book on time WITH a few extra weeks to review. For a while i was contemplating moving my due date forwards. Now i realize how much a mistake that would've been. had i changed the date i would never finish my book, it would just continue to be put off, until one day i would realize that high school was almost over and i was still not done. Then with Nanowrimo* startingi remembered why i loved to write so much, why i wanted this goal so bad. I got my motive back! During the month of november while others are writing books i will be writing a chapter by chapter outline of my book. Yes that is right! the only reason i havent really been able to write much is because once i get into the mood, into the part, i can never figure out whats going to happen next. once i know that writing is easy you just describe and write. but once the figuring out part is done... well easy peasy. So while others are writing 100 000 words i will be writing a simple outline... i think that fair don't you? so there it is. After that all i'll need to do is write a chapter a week after that which again should not be that hard, once i have the outline that is. Following that set i should be dont somewhere in the month of february or march. not exact yet because i dont have the outline so no set amount of chapters. There you all go.... hmm i wonder if anyone actually reads this anymore. No matter it is out there for the futur when im all famous and i will still know who my first followers were. :P By the way my book wednesdays ** well now it will be moved to saturday because that is the end on my weeks thus the end of my weekly goal. i can then update you on how that is going and making sure that you all stay updated on whats going on. That was the point of this blog.... well a few months after i made it. At first i just made it for fun now though i seriously think that im going to try to focus it on my book and like my life around that. so when its done and people ask me how i made it i can just point them here. :) like the movie julie and julia. julie's blog would be abput her daily food recipes... mine will be about my weekly writing. So in cheers to the movie,
30 sum outlines
30 days.
and 30 sum chapters
and a 6 months.
:D please watch that movie i recomend it. it is sybil approved.
GothGirl xox

*Nanowrimo is the writers month. Basically writers all over the world use this month to try to write 100,000 word books. ALL OVER THE WORLD! some people prepare all year for this.
** ya remember like oh..... 7 months ago i decided to make book writting wednesdays and blog about my book every wednesday... and then i totally didnt follow it. yea that one